Someone asked me this morning why people are mean. And you know what? Sometimes people are mean.

What is it about humans that sometimes cause us to be hurtful? Is it that the person doing the hurting has been hurt, and wants to lash out in return so that they feel like they have some control? Of course, the only things that we control are our own actions and reactions. We get to choose if we feel hurt or not. And the truth is that sometimes it works for us. It fills some sort of sick need in us, to feel hurt.

I am reminded of grade school, when we felt such a strong need for sameness – to fit in – that we abandoned our individuality. When someone was different, we joined the crowd in poking at the differences. Some of us carry this practice into adulthood, judging harshly those who are not like us. We are threatened by others who are different because on some level we’re frightened that it somehow means we are not enough as we are.

I’d like to believe that all people, at their core, want to be loving and accept everyone for their differences. We were created this way, and somewhere along the way we’ve forgotten. We’ve allowed our judgments to serve as a way to feel better about ourselves; a comparison that makes us feel worthy.

For myself, I’m choosing acceptance. I believe we ARE what we see in others. It’s humbling to know that whatever we see in someone else also somehow exists in us. When I feel a judgment occurring for me, I now follow it with the thought “I am THAT.” It reminds me of the love I was created to be.

Coach Charrise

I wrote a piece today on Synchronicity as my recent feature article for Family Magazine of Michiana. I find it fascinating how people and scenarios tend to line up to support us in speaking with our biggest voice. This support sometimes comes from surprising places, and doesn’t always look the way I expect it to look.

As a writer myself, I have a morning ritual of reading. One morning not long ago, I read a blog that featured an ex-priest who speaks and writes on the topic of leadership. His name is Kenny Moore, and you can learn more about him HERE. When I read his stuff, I got the overwhelming feeling that I was meant to know him. So, true to form, I sent him an email asking for a conversation.

This morning, we talked. It turns out that he is a delightful, insightful person, and exactly what my spirit was craving. It’s another incident of synchronicity in my life.

It’s important to note that I could have ignored my instinct. If I had, I would likely not have developed a relationship with him. I would have missed the opportunity to gain his unique perspective. And since I reached out to him, my life shifted in a profound yet simple way.

So, I began to wonder if I’m experiencing more synchronicity since I’m more open to it, or if it was always present and I was simply unaware of it. Regardless, it shows up with a powerful force almost daily. I meet the people I’m meant to meet, read the books that are perfectly timed, and travel to places I’m meant to visit. I know that timing is always perfect, and I lean into that knowing.

My new friend Kenny, who refers to himself as a monk, told me today that I’m pregnant. Before you think what you’re thinking, know that he meant it in the figurative sense. He believes that something is being nurtured in me, and that in due time I will give birth to something new and important. He encouraged me to show up by reaching out to people, strangers and otherwise. He reminded me to breathe deeply. And last, and most delightful for me, he asked me to be open to surprise.

I’m moving through this experience by slowing down and intentionally nurturing what is inside me. When it’s born, I will need the energy I’m saving now to fully deliver the value to the world.

It’s fascinating to me how life continues to become deeper and richer with every passing moment.

Coach Charrise