You can begin by answering these questions:

• What would your life/work be like if you could always depend upon others to honor their agreements with you?
• In what ways are you asking people to honor their agreements?
• In what ways are you honoring yours?
• Do you often have expectations of others, without getting their agreement that they will do what you expect?

There is a way to create more powerful agreements everywhere in your life. It begins with a true desire to hold people accountable to their word. Too often, people make commitments that they have no business making. Or worse, they make commitments without any intention of fulfilling them. We perpetuate this cycle by accepting this condition as status quo, rather than challenging it as unacceptable. It’s everywhere, so it’s easier to ignore.

As a leader, I invite you to think about the power of YOUR word, and to look for ways to show people how powerful their word is, or can be.

If your direct reports could really get this at the gut level, and could see how much better things work when communication is tighter and more reality/truth based, I’m betting you’d find more joy and ease in your world.

There is a difference between martyrdom and serving, and the distinction has to do with getting clear on the purpose of doing something at all. How much of what we do is done to please other people? Are we addicted to the validation that comes from doing great things for people? Or, are our actions aligned with a clear desire to simply serve for the sake of serving? Therein lies the difference.

And what about us? If we are to be productively serving others, we must first serve ourselves. We must take good care of our physical health, our mental health, our emotional health, and our spiritual health. What good are we to others if we don’t arrive into service fully expressed and whole?

Coach Charrise

It’s always difficult to understand things like this. We feel like it’s so unfair, and question why God would take such a wonderful person away from us at such a young age. The circumstances of the bicycle accident are so unlikely. She always rode safely, and didn’t take unnecessary chances – yet she lost control of her bicycle while her triathlon training partners watched on. It’s unbelievable.

And it’s partly the circumstances that make me think I know why she left us.

My faith tells me that her work here was finished. That she and other highly evolved souls come here for a brief stay to complete something, and once their karma is balanced they move on. Now, I understand you might not agree with this. But isn’t that the purpose of faith? Isn’t it meant to comfort us?

I’ve learned once again how fleeting life is. And how much I’m committed to squeezing every single drop out of every single moment, making as big a difference with people in the world as possible.

Because the truth is, we are all on borrowed time, and we’re just passing through.

It’s a powerful place from which to come, knowing that we’re here for a distinct purpose and that we’re meant to make a difference.

Rest in peace, Tina. Your difference was profound.

Coach Charrise

I’ve seen clear examples of this myself. I’ve even experienced it as a salesperson, and a sales manager. What is your experience?

Coach Charrise

Have I read a lot of books written by teachers and gurus that have caused me to think and re-think important concepts? Sure. I continue my commitment to be a life-long learner, and love knowing that people are writing books that will help me learn and grow. That said, there is a limit to what I’ll learn through books. I learn much more from real people – and more importantly, through my interaction with those people.

I’m not knocking gurus – I think that sometimes we place them on a pedestal which inadvertently puts them just past our reach. I know that magic happens when I am with someone who questions my logic, and whose logic I can also question. The more I relate with others as people on a similar journey, the less alone I feel.

Teachers and gurus serve a purpose, and so does the courageous action of stepping into the ring and playing full out no matter who you are.

Come on in, the water is just fine.

Coach Charrise

After checking the furnace ourselves, we knew we were out of our league, so we called a service technician. Thankfully, we’re experienced enough of such things enough to know it’s faster and more efficient to get busy outsourcing.

Once that was set up, I began to think about how fortunate we are to have a home that is usually heated. I had an overwhelming feeling that there was some sort of vitally important message for me inside this problem. I said a quick prayer of gratitude for all the conveniences I have in my life, and proceeded to shower and get ready for my day.

On my drive to my first appointment, it felt almost surreal – in slow motion. As I was driving, it began to snow. Not the kind that slowly travels to the ground, but the thick, heavy snow that covers quickly. I noticed how beautiful it is, and then thought of all the people who live outside with no real home – and how they must view the continual snow as a curse.

It wasn’t much longer when I came upon a scene I will never forget. It was a 5 lane, busy road, full of morning traffic. In the far left lane, and into the adjacent lane, there was a man with a shopping cart full of aluminum cans and other miscellaneous collected items. A pickup truck was stopped, and the driver of the truck was giving the homeless man something. As traffic slowed, I was able to get right up next to this scene. I could see the kind stranger giving the homeless man several warm pats on the back, grinning ear to ear. The homeless man was smiling too.

Mind you, all this in the middle of blinding snow and cold. Here was the message I knew I needed to receive.

I couldn’t help but smile myself, thinking about the kindness that exists in the world. We get so caught up in our busy world, and the media tells us so many sad stories that we forget about those that simply do the right thing.

I continued driving, and proceeded to see two more homeless people being helped by strangers. Is it that my consciousness was heightened toward the plight of the homeless because of my furnace issue? Or is this sort of thing happening all the time, right in front of me?

I know that I take a lot of things for granted. I think it’s natural to do so. I am so grateful that today, I was brought these wonderful lessons. I learned that homeless people are not always miserable, and that but for the grace of God, there go I.

Coming from a new place of empowerment, I look at the choices I’ve made and can easily see the path I’ve taken this past year to design a lifestyle that suits me. I can see where I’ve taken deliberate, fearless action that caused wonderful things to occur for me. I created this. And I will create more.

We are born to create powerfully. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are always in the midst of creating our reality. We’re either creating from a place of love and service, or we’re creating from fear. We choose.

My creativity today was energized by the daily message I get from www.tut.com, cleverly coming from the universe. Here it is:

I’ve got a feeling, Charrise, that 2010 is going to be your kind of year. That you’ll be happier than you’ve ever been, laughing harder, smiling wider, standing taller, walking lighter, dancing crazier, hugging longer, living grander, loving louder, and if you want, selling the pictures to a tabloid to raise money for your new charity.

Can you feel it, too?
The Universe

This is the inspiration that takes me into the New Year, knowing that I am capable of designing that kind of life for myself. And that I love myself enough to create it.

Rock on.

Coach Charrise

For example, I remember sending my very first fax. At the time, I worked in an office where documents were sent through the mail – snail mail, that is. We came to understand the time it took to get something somewhere, and we accepted it as part of our process, and acted accordingly. The fax machine was my first hint of the world’s preoccupation with all things fast.

Today, when the internet is not moving at nano-speed, as swiftly as what I’m accustomed to, I get irritated and whiny. I am so dependent on technology that when something goes wrong, it becomes an ORDEAL. It’s funny how something designed to simplify has become so complicated.

2010 is my year to simplify. Here are some new practices I’m putting into place:

1. Limiting dependence on technology (turning power OFF on Blackberry, leaving laptop in office, going to coffee shop with a book instead of a gadget).
2. Donating or recycling 20% of all my belongings, one category at a time (clothing, household, books)
3. Adding extreme focus to fewer areas, rather than minor focus to many areas.
4. Slowing every conversation down, listening more intensely.
5. Resisting the urge to buy stuff.
6. Remember to be grateful in the most challenging moments.
7. Release the useless stories that don’t serve me.
8. Mix work with play every day.
9. Forgive everything.
10. Ask for help.

These practices are just that – practice. New habits replace old ones but only if I practice them. And practice isn’t always perfect. So if you see me in a coffee shop with my laptop, just smile and give me that look, and I’ll know what you mean.

Can you think of more ways to simplify? We’d all love to learn from you, so leave your comments please.

Here’s to keeping it simple!

Coach Charrise

Here are 11 questions to consider. I invite you to resist the urge to self-edit – listen to the voice of your spirit without judgement. Journal your answers, and if you would like help working through this exercise, please email me at info@fulloutandfearless.com.

If you were to FULLY live your life, what is the first change you would make?

What do you want MORE of in your life?

What do you want LESS of in your life?

What are three things you are doing regularly that don’t serve or support you?

What would you try now if you knew you could not fail?

What is missing, that if provided, would move you into a life you truly love?

What is the fear that most often stops you from something you know you want to do?

What do you want, and what are you willing to give up to get what you think you want?

What are you tolerating right now that doesn’t serve you?

What are you pretending not to know?

What action are you afraid to take?

Once you’ve created thoughtful responses to these questions, I recommend that you create an action plan that stands as your commitment to transformation. Know that you are precisely where you are meant to be, and that you are moving into fearlessness one day, and one action at a time.

You are a magnificent human being, born to create the life you desire. Challenge your assumptions, and get into fearless action. Otherwise, you’re cheating the world of the glory that is YOU.

Coach Charrise

Last week I found something that had been part of my daily process for setting my intention for the day. It’s called “Winner’s Creed” and the author is unknown. As I read it, I realized how powerful it was for me and have re-integrated into my current daily practice. I thought it might be helpful to you, so today I’m sharing it:

Winner’s Creed

I know that I have the ability to achieve my definite purpose in life; therefore, I demand of myself massive, immediate, intelligent, persistent, and consistent action toward its attainment. I here and now promise to render such action.

I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon truth, integrity and incredible value; therefore, I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects.

I succeed by attracting to myself the forces that are in harmony with my vision, and the partnership and cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others.

I eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness, cynicism, anger, and competition by developing true love for myself and all humanity. I know that there is an unlimited supply of goodness in my universe and that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success. I compel others to believe in me, because I believe in them and in myself.

This is my creed and my quest. To never stop climbing to the top, to always keep growing and moving foward, to always scale endless peaks of possibility and to fulfill my destiny. I KNOW that my spirit’s sole purpose is for fuller expansion and expression – that I am dying if not growing. Therefore, I learn, grow, and expand my comfort zone each and every day. I believe in, and commit to progressive advancement, growth and improvement.

I AM the power. I AM the magic. I AM unstoppable. I AM a winner. I promise to always be true to myself because I AM a child of the creator and a master of my universe. I AM responsible for making a positive difference in the world and to the quality of life in it.

As I read this one final time, I see areas where it could be adjusted so that it resonates more fully with my purpose. It’s a great starting point.

What is your daily ritual for setting intentions?

Coach Charrise